Engaged Parenting

Look for a lesson about good parenting.

   He again forbade me to join with any of them; and many other things did he say unto me, which I cannot write at this time. When I came to myself again, I found myself lying on my back, looking up into heaven. When the light had departed, I had no strength; but soon recovering in some degree, I went home. And as I leaned up to the fireplace, mother inquired what the matter was. I replied, “Never mind, all is well—I am well enough off.” I then said to my mother, “I have learned for myself that Presbyterianism is not true.” It seems as though the adversary was aware, at a very early period of my life, that I was destined to prove a disturber and an annoyer of his kingdom; else why should the powers of darkness combine against me? Why the opposition and persecution that arose against me, almost in my infancy?

Joseph Smith-History 1:20

There are at least two great lessons here about parenting. First is about being in the right place at the right time.  Lucy Smith was there for her son Joseph. I bet she was doing some kind of work at the time when Joseph got back from the grove, but she was still aware of each member of the family. She saw that something was up with Joseph without him having to say anything. The family members knew she was available for them. 

Second is that she “inquired what the matter was”.  She was observant and asked questions to engage in each family member’s lives. As parents, it is easy to be so engrossed in our own doings that we overlook others.  

Today’s Takeaway: If you are a parent, take time each day to see how everyone is doing.  Take time to ask questions and engage. Look for those nonverbal clues.  If you aren't a parent yet, decide now to be involved and look out for each family member. 

Parenting More Like God

Look for how the Lord shows His love.

 Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you whom I love, and whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven, for with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance in all things out of temptation, and I have loved you—

Doctrine & Covenants 95:1

What would you say to the youth who says, “If my parents loved me, they wouldn’t get on my case so much”? Are they right or wrong? Can parenting be all hugs, high-fives, and positive reinforcements?  Well it appears that the perfect parent, our Heavenly Father, believes that if you really love your children, you will have to “chasten” and get after them sometimes. Children need to have boundaries. Jeffry R. Holland taught that, “Second only to your love, they need your limits.” Notice that the word “love” is used three times in the verse; the last time almost as a reminder, just in case they forgot.

Today’s Takeaway: As a parent, don’t feel bad if you sometimes have to correct and chasten your children. But as the Lord shows, start and end that correction with love. Almost no one takes correction easily, but it helps if we can show our children “a way for their deliverance” when they are corrected.